Yes to all of the above. I’ve been increasingly detached from social media over the years and have replaced it with more reading (the OG hobby of the sexy and mysterious), handwriting letters, making art, and even decided to go back to school bc of the time it freed up for me. Studying for 2 hrs per day > social media. And that decision was also fueled by last year when I heard someone say “don’t confuse marketing with education” which explains why people are duller than ever. Nobody knows where I work except my few closest friends. Or where I get my favorite pastry. My life feels like it’s really, truly mine. In the age of cheap oversharing (and the pressure to do so) privacy feels like a type of wealth that feels so good to give yourself. And the irony is it’s the only type of wealth you can’t flex online… or, rather, the flex is done by not flexing at all.
Yes, detaching from social media can free up so much time! I, too, started reading more books and making more art, and studying French (not in school though)! Handwriting letters- love it!
I love how you phrase it like, "your life is truly yours" It makes me feel like oversharing can also lead to more judgement/feeling judged which can ultimately lead to you making decisions (or not) just to avoid judgement- thus your life not entirely feeling like your own.
I love how you elaborated on that sentiment! I didn't even think about it that way but it's so true. When judgement creates a feedback loop and we can anticipate what people would like to see us do (or not do), it ultimately shapes our behavior. I'm so happy to see other amazing people enjoying privacy, slowness, and keeping some things sacred. Thank you for your beautiful response <3
you are so right!! when something great happens to me and i don’t run to share it with someone it feels like that moment was mine. keeping some things to myself has felt so exciting
I love this. It’s fascinating to consider how mystery and the role of a writer or content creator can coexist. Striking that perfect balance is something I—and so many others—aspire to achieve. Come to think of it, what you put out into the world must be art in a way? Put out your art (in any form) but don't speak about it too much?
Totally. I think it’s about doing a check in with yourself. We have become addicted to the rush we get when we share with our online audience. I cannot help but feel our real relationships suffer because of how easily we can feel momentarily connected to our parasocial ones. It’s fun to share our art but are we only making it so we can share it? It’s so interesting to think about our motivations and how we can better protect our creative process and the mystery that often inspires it
LOVE this! We have so much potential, but because we are offered a stylised blueprint on every possible way of living, dressing, buying, acting, etc.. we’ve become so lazy! I’ll also add that it just perpetuates overconsumption and fatigue. Choose to be YOU, not a microtrend that you identify with.
i enjoyed this timely and encouraging read. our digital age has allowed us to know more about each other than it was ever intended. i read through the list and began patting myself on the back for already fostering most of these practices. it’s important for mystery to exist between us as humans so there still remains things for us to be curious about
J'obsessed with this. 2025 the year of being off the grid and mysterious. Don't give away everything to people that don't deserve it! Make them ask questions to find out
I totally agree with the main message of this, yet I still struggle not to overshare irl as I have the impulse to think sharing = connecting with others and being transparent. How does one balance the mystery with authenticity?
I think the key is to not rely solely on the internet for connection. It's become quite addicting. Connection exists here but I don't think it's as long lasting or fulfilling and we shouldn't settle for it. I think authenticity is meant to be shared in its fullest form- in real life. I sometimes wonder if it's even possible to be our most authentic selves online?
Back in the day, I had a magazine cutout hanging on my closet door of CBK and JFK, Jr. stepping out of their apartment for the first time as a married couple. You know the one. The image thrilled me. First, I had clothes like those she was wearing (I had a closet full of pencil skirts, a pair of Italian boots I had scrimped and starved for, and nice fitted sweaters, despite pressure from every side to wear jeans and “mix it up” a bit) and secondly, she was, you know, fabulous. While I did not look anything like CBK, I knew, based on her clothing choices, I was on to something I wanted to keep with my own style choices. I felt validated and inspired. It was impossible to find more images of her at that time. She’d show up once in a while in some magazine, but there was just never enough of her and what she was wearing. That was a good thing. It allowed me to, as you said, to think and dream, to figure things out on my own. Mystery allows us to dream. Without it, when everything is handed to you in giant gulps of non-stop, easily digested images, the work is done and you are left with...not a great feeling and no mystery yourself. GREAT article; it's making me think and dream. Glad to have found you!
The more I posted, the more I realized I was creating a version of myself that wasn't really me. I was trying to be someone who bought things just to impress, just to feed an image. It took me a while to understand that I didn't need to present a 'made-up' version of myself to feel valid. Authenticity is far more powerful than any facade we try to maintain.
I resonate with this. We have overly identified with our "online personas" which favor how others perceive us rather than who we actually are. It's motivated by perhaps what we think people want from us or what we wish we were. Exhausting!!
I found this truly inspiring!! Something I think about everyday, when seeing those who are so obsessed with keeping up with trends or having a presence on social media. You will never truly know yourself and who you are if you are always only trying fit into boxes that social media is putting out for us. Trends are not a checklist!!!
Yes to this!! I’m having jaw surgery in a month and am taking my recovery time to completely get off social media (with the exception of substack) and take the time to focus on developing myself, hobbies, and creative ideas I’ve had brewing. I’m treating it like a rebrand, and I’ll eventually make my return to socials, but what I’m looking forward to most is the complete silence im allowing myself to have during those 2-3 months. Let them wonder, but also I don’t owe anyone and explanation, and I love that
Yes yes yes to all of this. I find myself reading this over and over. I could not have said it better myself. More mystery, more looking out and not down. Put the phones away. Love this post so much, thank you thank you!
Yes to all of the above. I’ve been increasingly detached from social media over the years and have replaced it with more reading (the OG hobby of the sexy and mysterious), handwriting letters, making art, and even decided to go back to school bc of the time it freed up for me. Studying for 2 hrs per day > social media. And that decision was also fueled by last year when I heard someone say “don’t confuse marketing with education” which explains why people are duller than ever. Nobody knows where I work except my few closest friends. Or where I get my favorite pastry. My life feels like it’s really, truly mine. In the age of cheap oversharing (and the pressure to do so) privacy feels like a type of wealth that feels so good to give yourself. And the irony is it’s the only type of wealth you can’t flex online… or, rather, the flex is done by not flexing at all.
10000000%. Anonymity is the biggest luxury these days. Appreciate this comment xx
Yes, detaching from social media can free up so much time! I, too, started reading more books and making more art, and studying French (not in school though)! Handwriting letters- love it!
I love how you phrase it like, "your life is truly yours" It makes me feel like oversharing can also lead to more judgement/feeling judged which can ultimately lead to you making decisions (or not) just to avoid judgement- thus your life not entirely feeling like your own.
I love how you elaborated on that sentiment! I didn't even think about it that way but it's so true. When judgement creates a feedback loop and we can anticipate what people would like to see us do (or not do), it ultimately shapes our behavior. I'm so happy to see other amazing people enjoying privacy, slowness, and keeping some things sacred. Thank you for your beautiful response <3
I love the way you put this. It was very inspiring!
:) <3 thank you
you are so right!! when something great happens to me and i don’t run to share it with someone it feels like that moment was mine. keeping some things to myself has felt so exciting
I want to be this person so badly but alas, I am a leo.
looool I love it
i’m a leo in real estate sales - i hate that i have to be in everyone’s face all the damn time .
Haha, we love our Leo’s!!! And I think for some performing is just part of your nature. And some of us truly love the entertainment <3
HA, Leo Rising and I feel you! I am however a Virgo Sun sign (if you're more deeply into astrology), which does make me a bit demure and shy at time😁
for real 🤣
I love this. It’s fascinating to consider how mystery and the role of a writer or content creator can coexist. Striking that perfect balance is something I—and so many others—aspire to achieve. Come to think of it, what you put out into the world must be art in a way? Put out your art (in any form) but don't speak about it too much?
Totally. I think it’s about doing a check in with yourself. We have become addicted to the rush we get when we share with our online audience. I cannot help but feel our real relationships suffer because of how easily we can feel momentarily connected to our parasocial ones. It’s fun to share our art but are we only making it so we can share it? It’s so interesting to think about our motivations and how we can better protect our creative process and the mystery that often inspires it
So true! Thanks for writing about this. Think it’s helping a lot of people to stop and think for a second
LOVE this! We have so much potential, but because we are offered a stylised blueprint on every possible way of living, dressing, buying, acting, etc.. we’ve become so lazy! I’ll also add that it just perpetuates overconsumption and fatigue. Choose to be YOU, not a microtrend that you identify with.
Yes!!! Thank you for reading 🥰♥️
i enjoyed this timely and encouraging read. our digital age has allowed us to know more about each other than it was ever intended. i read through the list and began patting myself on the back for already fostering most of these practices. it’s important for mystery to exist between us as humans so there still remains things for us to be curious about
Exactly. Curiosity and mystery are a gift <3
J'obsessed with this. 2025 the year of being off the grid and mysterious. Don't give away everything to people that don't deserve it! Make them ask questions to find out
exactly!!!!!! sometimes people don't ask questions because we have become so predictable !
I totally agree with the main message of this, yet I still struggle not to overshare irl as I have the impulse to think sharing = connecting with others and being transparent. How does one balance the mystery with authenticity?
I think the key is to not rely solely on the internet for connection. It's become quite addicting. Connection exists here but I don't think it's as long lasting or fulfilling and we shouldn't settle for it. I think authenticity is meant to be shared in its fullest form- in real life. I sometimes wonder if it's even possible to be our most authentic selves online?
Back in the day, I had a magazine cutout hanging on my closet door of CBK and JFK, Jr. stepping out of their apartment for the first time as a married couple. You know the one. The image thrilled me. First, I had clothes like those she was wearing (I had a closet full of pencil skirts, a pair of Italian boots I had scrimped and starved for, and nice fitted sweaters, despite pressure from every side to wear jeans and “mix it up” a bit) and secondly, she was, you know, fabulous. While I did not look anything like CBK, I knew, based on her clothing choices, I was on to something I wanted to keep with my own style choices. I felt validated and inspired. It was impossible to find more images of her at that time. She’d show up once in a while in some magazine, but there was just never enough of her and what she was wearing. That was a good thing. It allowed me to, as you said, to think and dream, to figure things out on my own. Mystery allows us to dream. Without it, when everything is handed to you in giant gulps of non-stop, easily digested images, the work is done and you are left with...not a great feeling and no mystery yourself. GREAT article; it's making me think and dream. Glad to have found you!
Old paparazzi photos are EVERYTHING. Sad to think that time is gone. So glad this resonated. Thank you for reading xx
The more I posted, the more I realized I was creating a version of myself that wasn't really me. I was trying to be someone who bought things just to impress, just to feed an image. It took me a while to understand that I didn't need to present a 'made-up' version of myself to feel valid. Authenticity is far more powerful than any facade we try to maintain.
I resonate with this. We have overly identified with our "online personas" which favor how others perceive us rather than who we actually are. It's motivated by perhaps what we think people want from us or what we wish we were. Exhausting!!
I found this truly inspiring!! Something I think about everyday, when seeing those who are so obsessed with keeping up with trends or having a presence on social media. You will never truly know yourself and who you are if you are always only trying fit into boxes that social media is putting out for us. Trends are not a checklist!!!
Yes to this!! I’m having jaw surgery in a month and am taking my recovery time to completely get off social media (with the exception of substack) and take the time to focus on developing myself, hobbies, and creative ideas I’ve had brewing. I’m treating it like a rebrand, and I’ll eventually make my return to socials, but what I’m looking forward to most is the complete silence im allowing myself to have during those 2-3 months. Let them wonder, but also I don’t owe anyone and explanation, and I love that
Yes yes yes to all of this. I find myself reading this over and over. I could not have said it better myself. More mystery, more looking out and not down. Put the phones away. Love this post so much, thank you thank you!
thank you for reading, so glad it resonated!!!!!
Your ‘stacks always hit
I'm honored you think so!!
#3. Say less….. it is an impossible goal as I live to express myself but agree there is an art to it for sure. Enjoyed reading this!
AMEN. More Mystery 2025™
LOVEEEEE this!!!